Too many "Me Too"s
Unless you live under a rock, you've read/heard about the claims of sexual harassment and abuse of women by Harvey Weinstein. In an effort to shed a light on sexual harassment and abuse towards women, a movement has begun on Facebook with staggering amounts of people posting simply "Me Too". First I want to recognize that this doesn't only happen to women, this type of assault and abuse happens to men as well. It's astonishing to see the amount of people who've posted, also sickening and saddening.
It's like so many other things, like cancer, Alzheimer's etc. You can be in a room with 100
s of strangers and probably 75% of them have had a similar experience. You just aren't aware because they are strangers.
I don't recall the exact date, but I do recall the day, and moment that repressed memories came flooding into my mind. I was in my mid-thirties, on my long commute to my job downtown, and a rush or memories came barreling into my mind like a dam bursting. It was so overwhelming I almost ran off of the road. I had to worm my way through 3 lanes of cars just so I could get to a place on the side of the busy highway and pull my car over. The darkness, secrets, dirty feelings and sadness brought tears to my eyes and soon I was sobbing violently. Was I imagining these memories? They were just too dark and sad to be real. But no, they WERE real. I was in shock and disbelief, the more I remembered. Inappropriate touching and actions by a male cousin several years older than me. Things that made me want to crawl out of my skin, and things I knew, had my older sister or brother known, would have caused them to beat him to a bloody pulp. But no, no one knew but he and I. Did he remember I wondered? I gathered myself and finished my drive to work. I was so confused, how and why were all these memories just now, so many years later, coming back? The mind is a strange thing, and I believe it represses those types of things to protect us in a way. I never confronted this person, but I sought answers, and soon realized that it was NOT my fault. Weren't adults and people older than me supposed to love and protect me? I guess no one ever worried or wondered what I could possibly be doing in the bedroom with my older cousin while the family dinners were going on just feet away. No one looked for me, or ever dreamed anyone would be hurting me (if not physically, emotionally). I was younger, and somehow knew it was wrong, but trusted him and didn't tell. I wish I had known then what we teach our kids now-good touch, bad touch. I might have been able to tell someone. This type of thing is NEVER okay, and we should never allow it to happen. If you're struggling with this, tell someone, get help, and get away!
I love you all~
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