So, maybe they make you wait so long to give you a "definitive" diagnosis, so you have time to get used to the fact you have it. The neurologists told me prior to being discharged that only time, and how much of the sensation in my left side returned would confirm my diagnosis and the type of MS I might have. But they wrote it in my chart. All of it. Transverse Myelitis. Left Sided Numbness. Neuropathic Pain. and MS. Fast forward from my discharge to my follow-up in the MS clinic, where I saw a colleague of the doctors who not only saw me inpatient, but also diagnosed me. He says he doesn't think I have MS, he's not concerned with the old lesions on my brain, but very concerned with the active one on my spine. He wants me to see the neuro-immunologist here in Charleston (like the only one in SC, and apparently the MS expert), and his soonest opening is early October. WTF?!??!?!  My appointment has since been moved to early August due to a cancellation. Meanwhile, he…


I was going to make some long profound Mother's Day blog post, but honestly I don't think it's necessary. I will say that in my 56 years of being blessed on this earth, I have seen the very best.

My own mom-who showed me who God is, and who loved everyone unconditionally, even when we didn't deserve it.

My sister-who has shown me what a Godly sister is-she is not just a sister, but also a best friend.

A dear friend who sacrificed her heart so her sweet baby could have the very best life possible. An act so unselfish that it brings me to tears every time I remember seeing them together.

And my own daughter. I don't know where she learned it from, but when she needed it most, God led her to be the MOST amazing mother to her critically ill baby boy. A baby so sick sometimes it was hour to hour, but then also he had good days, where he smiled and started cooing ever so slightly.  A mom who had her heart ripped out when her baby boy did as she gave him permission to do,…

Turkey trimmings and cemeteries~

This post was originally drafted the month after my mom passed away. I just found it in my drafts folder. The feelings are all still very real and present~

My mother passed away on November 6th, 2017, after a long battle with Alzheimer's disease. We opted to celebrate her life in her home state of Georgia the weekend of Thanksgiving that year. Which was a blessing because I got to see all of my family. But then you have the whole memorial service and burial thing. I made some observations from those days-good, bad, funny -be it what may~

1. The Atlanta airport is a complete cluster of bad drivers, anxious travelers and cops the week of Thanksgiving. I could go the rest of my life without that experience again.
2. Even if I had just seen my sweet adult daughter in August, I was SO glad to see her smiling face hop in my car again at the airport-Thank you Delta for getting her safely from Hawaii to GA for us!! Being with her NEVER gets old!

3. Time flies even when you aren't alw…

All I wanted was a bra~

The week Harper passed away, on about Thursday, I decided to take a few hours for myself because I needed to buy a new bra to go with a blouse I was wearing to his memorial. I work from home, so I pretty much live in sports bras, but I just needed something new and this was the thing I chose. I went to the outlet mall to one of my favorite women's stores where the sales assistant came over and asked me have I ever properly been fitted for a bra and I said no. So she proceeded to pull out her measuring tape, turned it sideways, put it around me. She measured under my arms and all of this stuff, and then came up with the size that she thought would fit me. It didn't, so I told her I wanted to look around for a little bit and she said okay.  Now, in my head, what I heard was, "I'd like to look around a little bit but maybe you can check with me later to see if there's anything else I need". I guess in her head she heard "I don't need your help. Leave …

A diagnosis at last ~

Let's face it, this blog entry could have been named many things. 1. Because it covers many things, and 2. Because it will be long (there's your warning), so turn back now or plan to read it in stages.  So grab a drink (have one for me too!) put your reading glasses on (if you wear them), get comfy and sit back. Here we go!!! I haven't felt well for some time. But honestly, who can run to the doctor with every little pain or thing that bothers them? I didn't, because I was often brushed off or made to feel nothing was wrong.  OR, here's a good one, it was all blamed on being overweight. I honestly think some others think that people who are overweight don't KNOW they are.  But I digress... In retrospect, I can look back and see I've been physically unwell for some time. I ignored many very important signs because I felt like I would be ignored, and maybe they would actually find something wrong with me.  SO here's what brought me to this point; 3  Week…

Another round.

Another round of life for me and my friends. Just as no one likes to drink alone, no one likes to do much alone, whether it's good or bad. Bad situations just seem more bearable when you're not alone, and we as humans like to share the good with others around us too. Am I right? I had to have costly repairs on my cute car who I've affectionately name Blue Betty. I got her back today, blessed to have an amazing friend who made the repairs possible. I oooed and ahhhed over her, cleaned her inside and out, wiped everything down since it smelled a bit "mechanic-y", and took her to my favorite car wash to cleanse her new self.  Oh, got off track there. Did I say how happy I am to have my car back?? Anyway, for a couple of years have been driving ride share, to make extra money for trips I wanna take and for special things I wanna buy. It also helps get me out of the house to meet people and engage with others face-to-face. It's just a part time gig but I've th…

NOT as clear as glass.........

There are so many things I could have named this particular post; One Day at a Time, Don't Weight, yaddy yaddy ya, so on and so forth. It's a long one-so grab some coffee, a comfy chair and sit for a spell. I know I've been silent for way too long.

I am about to be very raw with you, and I am not referring to vegetables. Thank you to one particular person I spoke to this morning at length, for squeezing this post, raw but true, out of me. And let me preface the rest of this post by saying, I don't need you to feel sorry for me, pat me on the back, judge me or do anything. I just can't go on living a lie. It's not who I am. Others can do that in their lives, but until I am honest with myself, I can't be honest with others. And my getting well and living a better life depends on HONESTY!

So once upon a time....... nah. Lol! Just kidding, not THAT long ago. But to start, here's some facts. My mom was a petite person, my dad was not. Mom had a small fame an…