Posts

QuinWHA?

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Dear McDonalds, CookOut, Little Caesar's, Zaxby's~

I regret to inform you that I must end this relationship we've been having. Yes, I'll admit it, I've been seeing more than one of you at a time. While my taste buds enjoyed your salty fatty foods, my body did not. It's given me an ultimatum that I can't ignore. My knees are screaming at me, my back sends me hate mail, and my blood pressure is threatening a strike. You had me in your grips for way too long, and one of us has to go, so it's going to be me...........

Yep-I'll admit it-I LOVE fast food. Hey, it's fast!  And easy-someone else does the cooking AND the cleaning of the kitchen. All I have to do is give them my money and eat it. I don't even have to walk in their establishment!! Wow-what a fabulous world. Wait, hold up. That shit's killing me!  LEt's see if I can do this right for a change.

Now I am asking the clerk at the store, "Where are the jicama sticks?", or &…

Just like riding a bike.............

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People say this about so may things. If you haven't done something in a long time, and you're intimidated by it, they say, "Oh, it's just like riding a bike!"  How many of you ride bikes? Lol!!  I hadn't been on a bicycle in 29 years when in 2014 I took up riding again with Beka. It was essential to her healing physically and emotionally. And it proved to be therapeutic for me too! We would take off on our bikes, even on the muggiest of evenings and ride for 11 or so miles sometimes. We laughed a lot, especially when one of us would almost fall or wreck. It was a very fun summer and fall.









Then life happened, and due to being so busy with her high risk pregnancy, then caring for Harper, there were much more important things in our lives. After we lost Harper, I sunk into a very very horrible depression. I didn't want to do anything, for much of the time. Along with the emotional weight, came the physical weight as well.  I wanted so badly NOT to be that wa…

An Orphan at 54

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or·phan ˈôrfən/ noun 1. a child whose parents are dead.



Sounds strange right? That at 54 and 59, my sister and I are orphans. I never thought in my younger years about losing both of my parents. Even 13 years ago when I lost my dad, losing my mom was so far from my thoughts. But it's a very strange feeling to know that both of your parents are no longer living.
Granted, my mother was taken from us intellectually long before she was taken physically. So we had a very long goodbye with her.  But you still can never prepare for being without parents. Sometimes I get the feeling that popular thought is that since I am an adult, and my mom was ill for years with Alzheimer's, that my feelings of loss should be less. It's definitely different from losing my grandson at 4 months old, but it's not less.
Things I didn't think about missing while she was still physically here have crossed my mind many times in the last 39 days since she left us. Not ever getting another Christma…

Too many "Me Too"s

Unless you live under a rock, you've read/heard about the claims of sexual harassment and abuse of women by Harvey Weinstein. In an effort to shed a light on sexual harassment and abuse towards women, a movement has begun on Facebook with staggering amounts of people posting simply "Me Too".  First I want to recognize that this doesn't only happen to women, this type of assault and abuse happens to men as well.   It's astonishing to see the amount of people who've posted, also sickening and saddening. 
It's like so many other things, like cancer, Alzheimer's etc. You can be in a room with 100 s of strangers and probably 75% of them have had a similar experience. You just aren't aware because they are strangers.
I don't recall the exact date, but I do recall the day, and moment that repressed memories came flooding into my mind. I was in my mid-thirties,  on my long commute to my job downtown, and a rush or memories came barreling into my mind…

The Way We Were~

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Mem'ries light the corners of my mind Misty water-colored mem'ries of the way we were Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind Smiles we gave to one another for the way we were Can it be that it was all so simple then Or has time rewritten every line If we had the chance to do it all again, tell me, would we, could we Mem'ries may be beautiful and yet What's too painful to remember We simply choose to forget So it's the laughter we will remember Whenever we remember the way we were The way we were
You remember this song, right? There was also a movie with Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford. A love story. Well, I've had a love story of sorts with my mom all my life. That's how it should be between a mom and her daughter(s), right?  I am so blessed that's how it was with me. My mom is an incredible person, and even though Alzheimer's disease has stolen her memories from her, they are still etched in my mind and heart-most very clearly. The song talks about…

My fickle heart~

Even Miranda writes to the Tin Man, "If you ever felt one breaking, you'd never want a heart." My heart betrays me. So so much. I think I am fine, then just talking to someone else about their precious grandbaby(ies) brings me to tears. It's not because I am not happy for them, but it's because I AM happy for them! That they are getting to experience the greatest love I've ever known. 

People think the heart is just a muscle, but it's oh so much more. Even though it's such a powerful muscle, to be able to pump blood for our whole body to keep everything going, it's much much more. You often hear people say "Follow your heart", or "Listen to your heart" or "the heart wants what it wants." A former practicing psychologist Deborah Rozman wrote a very interesting article, saying "Yes, the human heart, in addition to its other functions, actually possesses a heart-brain composed of about 40,000 neurons that can sense, …

The Edge...

Sometimes it's really hard to know when you're about to go over the edge, Emotionally speaking.  Literally speaking, at least if you're in a raft, you have some warning.  But in our emotional lives sometimes a whole lot of little things build-up pressure in our lives and we don't even realize it, Until that 1 relatively minor thing pushes us over the edge. This happened to me the other night. Last week was incredibly stressful; dealing with the hurricane, whether or not to leave, what food by in case my power went out, throwing away all my food because my power did go out....I was so fortunate. No major damage to my home. But the stress was still there. Hiding underneath the surface.  I had to work last weekend and we were pretty busy because there a lot of people he had trips coming up, and now we have new hurricanes threatening the Caribbean and possibly the Eastern part of the United States, So part of my job is to try and keep them calm help them come up with a go…