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An Orphan at 54

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or·phan ˈôrfən/ noun 1. a child whose parents are dead.



Sounds strange right? That at 54 and 59, my sister and I are orphans. I never thought in my younger years about losing both of my parents. Even 13 years ago when I lost my dad, losing my mom was so far from my thoughts. But it's a very strange feeling to know that both of your parents are no longer living.
Granted, my mother was taken from us intellectually long before she was taken physically. So we had a very long goodbye with her.  But you still can never prepare for being without parents. Sometimes I get the feeling that popular thought is that since I am an adult, and my mom was ill for years with Alzheimer's, that my feelings of loss should be less. It's definitely different from losing my grandson at 4 months old, but it's not less.
Things I didn't think about missing while she was still physically here have crossed my mind many times in the last 39 days since she left us. Not ever getting another Christma…