Bits and Pieces
Yes, it is 12:58am and I have a flight at 6am. But this just hit me. I am headed to see my sweet girl in paradise. She and her hubby are stationed in Hawaii. I could care less where they live, I just want to see them, but I am NOT complaining about having to fly to such a beautiful place! I just want to be near her and soak her in. Smell her, hug her, listen to her laugh that deep belly laugh and see her smile in person! As I was putting some things in the freezer tonight, I was reminded of the pictures below, and the feelings this time evoked.
When my grandson Harper was born, prematurely at 3.8lbs and critically ill, he couldn't nurse. So my daughter pumped. And pumped and pumped and pumped. We still had to fortify his feedings with more calories since they were trying to get his weight up. Haper moved to Heaven just over 19 months ago. Last month I did a huge purge of my freezer. I found containers of precious liquid gold breast milk that had been lovingly pumped for Harper, to help him live and grow. Sadly, he didn't get to use all of it. I knew it was time to let them go. Why was I hanging on to those. Letting go isn't quick, easy or painless. People hold on to all sorts of things, and refuse to let go. Somehow, when you're in the middle of grief, letting go of things sometimes seems like you're forgetting. But it doesn't mean that at all. I've found that it's a healing process for me. Bit by bit, and piece by piece, my heart is being restored. So I tenderly and lovingly let these go. One more bit and one more piece, healed and no longer broken....
Oh, and did I say letting go isn't easy??? It led to tears, and alcohol. I'm not much of a drinker, but this had been in the freezer way too long too, and needed to go :-)
When my grandson Harper was born, prematurely at 3.8lbs and critically ill, he couldn't nurse. So my daughter pumped. And pumped and pumped and pumped. We still had to fortify his feedings with more calories since they were trying to get his weight up. Haper moved to Heaven just over 19 months ago. Last month I did a huge purge of my freezer. I found containers of precious liquid gold breast milk that had been lovingly pumped for Harper, to help him live and grow. Sadly, he didn't get to use all of it. I knew it was time to let them go. Why was I hanging on to those. Letting go isn't quick, easy or painless. People hold on to all sorts of things, and refuse to let go. Somehow, when you're in the middle of grief, letting go of things sometimes seems like you're forgetting. But it doesn't mean that at all. I've found that it's a healing process for me. Bit by bit, and piece by piece, my heart is being restored. So I tenderly and lovingly let these go. One more bit and one more piece, healed and no longer broken....
Oh, and did I say letting go isn't easy??? It led to tears, and alcohol. I'm not much of a drinker, but this had been in the freezer way too long too, and needed to go :-)
Don't be afraid to let go, don't be ashamed to hold on, unless it's unhealthy for you. Find you some people that have been through what you're going through, it helps SO so much! Until then, keep your head up, and never give up! I'll see you on the other side of my trip!
Love you~
Rhonda
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