No Pain, No Gain

We've all heard that one before. Is it really true though?  I've had a lot of pain this last year-some worse than others-some emotional, some spiritual and some physical.  But please don;t feel sorry for me, or pity me.  I have a fabulous life, and am so much more fortunate than a lot of people.  I have just been making a few observations. 

I never had a "regular" childbirth-I had an appointment with a surgeon, and out came my beautiful daughter with a perfectly rounded head. It was like that because her skull did not get crushed together coming through the infamous birth canal.  So I can't relate to the whole labor thing-Do I have drugs, or don't I? Do I want an epidural, or don't I? So on and so forth. But I have very dear friends (and millions of other women) who say it hurts! A LOT!!! Like trying to pull a cantaloupe from your nose, or having your insides ripped out, or more like dragged out.  Pain so bad that it makes some women swear they will NEVER do it again!  But then they take that cute little bundle of joy home.  And although they are still recovering-walking ever so gently, and taking warms baths-the memory of that pain soon begins to fade.  Fast forward to 10 years (maybe less, maybe more) down the road, til the memory of the pain is gone completely and they want to do it again! Every once in a while they might have a vivid flashback of the pain-and think "HECK NO! I am never doing that again!"

This is the sort of experience I relate to losing a marriage, and eventually ending up getting a divorce.  It is painful folks. And don't EVER let anyone tell you otherwise.  Divorce hurts-angry words are spoken-that can never be undone, hateful emails and voice mails are sent, some marital strife involves physical pain and abuse. People lose the will to eat, the ability to sleep, the drive to function and some even lose their minds over it due to rage and jealously.  Not to mention the pain inflicted on the children-no matter what age, and the expense of attorneys. The whole darn thing is just very unpleasant-in every way.  But you push through it, because you have to. Most people have so many other things going on in their lives, that they can't just stay in the bed all the time and grieve for a love, or life that no longer exists (no matter how strong or weak it might have been); they have to go on-day by day, minute by minute and put one foot in front of the other.  And as time goes on, you begin to forget some of the pain, things become clearer in your new life.  And just when you think you are past the hurt-the unbearable pain-something rears it's ugly head to remind you. From out of no-where-an old email, note, or voice mail-reminding you of the extreme hurt, and how cruel people can really be.  Hopefully, as in my current life-the good things going on around you will FAR outweigh any memories of those bad things, and keep you focused on the road ahead, and moving forward.  They say you can't go back-and I thank God for that!  And that is for a reason; God gives us plenty of open road ahead to make a new path, and experience new things everyday.  I am choosing that path-and although at times it can still be a little rocky, I just keep forging a head, knowing in my heart that God has something great in store for me! I hope if you are hurting-you can get through it, and realize that it will  make you a better and stronger person-and there is life worth living on the other side.
Have a fabulous weekend~

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